How to Grow Lighter

Nov 28 2018

If what we all crave is Connection and vulnerability is the way we Connect - what's with the Brilliant Disguises?
There is something in us all that feels too exposed if we showed each other what is really going on below, that which we think and feel when we are quiet enough to listen.  It has many names but I call it the false self or our personal veneer and if we were to be exposed for what we feel is the real me, what would others think and what would others say? 
We all wear complex and strategic suits we have formulated to make sure we are able to at least partially pull the wool over each others' eyes in the hope that we will be included, accepted and even (big bonus) be liked and admired. 
So why would this be important to look at and discuss, this stuff generally makes us all uncomfortable, and in general for many it is downright nonsense. 
It is not for the faint hearted it is for the Brave. Introspection and personal development is still not mainstream and is largely considered only necessary for those with serious psychological issues, which is certainly not me!  The Truth is that our disguises offer great protection from dealing with our deep seated and hidden fears and/or ego driven proud behaviour, we often are deeply afraid of exposure. 
These elaborate and creative disguises we wear so often, are not bad or good, they are needed for a time in which we have  reactively learnt to survive and show up in this world. 
The problem is that the Extreme Athlete is a common disguise and it takes tremendous energy to keep the projection strong and the vision visible. 
So what if I could be an Ironman without needing it to define me?  What if I could  be a competitive athlete who participates for personal best and not win at all costs?  What if I could hold success and failure lightly and enjoy the learning from both without it causing me to spike high and low based on outcomes but burn brightly in all endeavors?  What if I lost the disguise through injury or illness, Who would I be? 
What if the person we feel needs protecting from exposure is not who we first thought?  Not a fraud, not an imposter, but a Human Being.  A person who has many insecurities and vulnerabilities but none the less like all other human beings, also possesses the bravery and courage to show up.  To recognize their weaknesses and also see their strengths.  To let down the disguise and connect through our triumphs and the doubts, Connect through our difference and similarity. To embrace ourselves and others with less judgment, to offer ourselves a little more kindness and those who irk us a little more acceptance. 
Light Hearted living means you learn to shed emotional baggage, saving incredible emotional energy and in general  through deeper connection with others feel lighter because you have been enlightened. 


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